Who said you have to go to church every time the doors are open? I am writing this blog in response to a Facebook post from a youth pastor, I went college with, put up on his page. The gist of the post was he hoped that Basketball Leagues would change their schedules so the youth could be at church on Wednesday nights. Now step one before people start ranting at me, I have nothing against people going to church, I am a born again Christian and believe going to renew a one spirit and have fellowship with other believers is a very good thing. My problem comes when traditions take precedents over doctrine, such as the “tradition” some denominations place on a person being at the church every time the doors and the shame put on others who choose to rest on one Sunday, that for many Wednesday night is family night, or not get themselves killed because when there is six inches of snow on the ground and it is not safe to drive. It never says anywhere in the Bible that you must show up for every church event on the calendar; because, oh wait it did not exist when church started. (If it does in Fourth Timothy < note there is no Fourth Timothy>) 

I went to a Christian College, which I loved, but every school has ups and downs, and mine came in forms of bible studies, Christian college student unions and gossip. On my Alma Mater campus, there is a big hill and at the top is the Christian College student union building, which for many was the center of their college life, not in of itself a bad thing. I could count about the number of times I went up that hill in my three years there on my fingers, if not one hand. I got a lot a of a shame, because I wanted to do my homework, or just enjoy the quiet of my dorm or watch tv with no one in the TV room.  The real reason I did not want to be there was  because that was where the worst gossips on that pristine campus like to hang out there.  That was something I did not want associated with, since because I was always taught if it was not necessary, true, kind or loving don’t say it, nor am I a master at this by any means? NO, but I do try to, do this and this was not practiced by many at the top of this hill and they were called the leadership on that campus, which was just sad. I have known girls who got kicked out of their own rooms because their roommate was having bible study and their roommate who did the kicking was consider one of the most "respected" girls on my campus.

Now back to my original point, Jesus never said that you have to go to church to worship or fellowship with Him or fellow believers there, but that's where one or more are gathered there He will be also, or be still and know I am God. To think that only place a person can learn about Jesus is in church is just a flat out lie or that unforgivable sin  is not go church on Wednesday night, is just horrible out and out lie. What you, who have said things like this are just, pushing legalism on the rest of the church and since the Youth Pastor, who inspired my blog, we went to the same Church my senior year ( an amazing Church) that I only once went to Sunday School (not even on Easter Sunday), I never went to Sunday night service,  I never  went to Wednesday night prayer service and still grew while I was there. What I am saying is that legalism does not belong anywhere near the church. We are to seek Him out and being a family is more important than, giving a good face at Church or to reach those who really need the Lord, because the world is lost and they not coming to Wednesday night services they are going to their kid basketball games.   

There is more to Life than Roses: A Youth Leaders Response to Juliet Capulet

There is more to Life than Roses: A Youth Leaders Response to Juliet Capulet

By. Mary E. Petrie

Oh sweet Julie girl, who is this boy you long for so deeply. He came to your family home while you were celebrating, as a prank. He did not even give you his name, you had to learn that from you nursemaid. Romeo Montague, is he not your father’s reveal, he would not wish you meet him. Sweet Julie girl you are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, please don’t let sweet words blind your sight. You are not the first one he has loved, the lovely Rosaline he has also loved, they say she is in loved him so and now he turns around like the sun.      

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet… 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; -- Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title:--Romeo, doff thy name; And for that name, which is no part of thee, Take all myself.” (Shakespeare 2.2.33-48)

Sweet Julie there is more to life than roses, and kisses, please wait you have just met. Please wait a year or two, yes he very well could be your one, which means he could be the one in year still. Please wait, please sweet child don’t let your feelings sway, visions of truth. Keep yourself pure as the driven snow, so you can stand before heavenly Father with a heart even more pure. Your earthly father’s reason may not be that of the Lords but he is still your father and that has not changed. You are only thirteen sweet one; let your love grow over time.  

“Conceit, more rich in matter than in words, Brags of his substance, not of ornament: They are but beggars that can count their worth; but my true love is grown to such excess, I cannot sum up sum of half my wealth.”

 Friar: “Come, come with me, and we will make short work; For, by your leaves, you shall not stay alone Till holy church incorporate two in one”(Shakespeare 2.6.30-36)

What have you done sweet, why good man such as Friar would have done? You are but a child yourself. How can you be a wife? It is too late complaining; you must tell your father, he and your mother, must hear the truth from you, before it comes from some ells. Lies only bring pain, and both of your families have known too much of that. So please sweet Julie, be honest. Please also refrain from sex.  You know that is why you, have wed, so that you can be one with Romeo. Sex at such a young age will only bring pain to you. Sweet Julie, you have so much life ahead, high school, college, friends, family that very well will not happen if you bring a baby into the world. If you bring a baby into the world, you will not sleep then you will not study. You are right that as married ‘woman’ your body is not your own, but if your husband demands sex, he does not love you like Christ loves the Church, because he would know he cannot provide for you or the baby by bagging groceries at the corner store. So please wait, sweet Julie girl for sex till you are older and tell your friends to wait till the wed too.

“'Tybalt is dead and Romeo banished.' That 'banished,' that one word 'banished,' hath slain ten thousand Tybalts. Tybalt's death Was woe enough, if it had ended there: Or, if sour woe delights in fellowship, And needly will be rank'd with other griefs,-- Why follow'd not, when she said Tybalt's dead, Thy father, or thy mother, nay, or both, Which modern lamentation might have mov'd? But with a rear-ward following Tybalt's death, 'Romeo is banished'—to speak that word Is father, mother, Tybalt, Romeo, Juliet, All slain, all dead: 'Romeo is banished,'-- There is no end, no limit, measure, bound, In that word's death; no words can that woe sound.” (Shakespeare 3:2. 112-126)      

Oh sadden Julie girl, death, blood has stained your happiness, the sun has not set on your marriage and it's all but over. Your pain is there for all to see and that grieves many to see. The hot blood of youth is spilled on the streets of your home town. Please be honest with your family? It was your cousin whose blood was spilled, but has not been the only blood spilled the prince may find mercy in his heart, for he could see your pain as others do. The sun has set on this your wedding day with the loss of your husband, all but dead to the world you know. You will not tell your parents the truth; don’t let your selfishness cloud your judgment sweet girl. Only a never ending night can come from your lies. Romeo is banished, he cannot come back he must leave and if you had been honest with your family you would go too, but have continued in your lies and now separation is the only outcome.

“Now by Saint Peter's Church and Peter too, He shall not make me there a joyful bride. I wonder at this haste; that I must wed ere he that should be husband comes to woo. I pray you, tell my lord and father, madam, I will not marry yet; and when I do, I swear It shall be Romeo, whom you. I hate, Rather than Paris:--these are news indeed!” (Shakespeare 3.5.116-124)    

Julie girl, there are more than roses in life, flowers will wither and die, as has your purity has with mornings light as sweet as last night may have been, it can never come back. You have been honest with your parents— almost you tell them of your love for Romeo, but not that you have given yourself to him awakening desire long before its time. Lovely Rosaline did the same you know and he left her like blink of child’s eye, like a leaf on the wind. What is to say that he will not now leave you too? For the next pretty young thing, who gives him a sweet smile? Turn to God; turn to His great unending love. It is not like the love of a man, which uneasy with a guild or given without a care. Yes, you do not wish to hear this, you want pretty little words, saying everything will turn out for good. You gave your greatest gift away to a boy who may not care, and even if he does he must leave with mornings light for he is a murder. Please sweet Julie girl; get your relationship right with your true Abba, His arms are always open to you he can and will forgive you always, you are a part of His bride, can be clothed in white waiting for Him still. Ask for forgiveness it is always given to those, who ask the Father of all, sin is always forgiven.

“What's here? A cup, clos'd in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end: -- O churl! Drink all, and left no friendly drop to help me after?--I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make me die with a restorative. Thy lips are warm!...Yea, noise?--Then I'll be brief.--O happy dagger! [Snatching Romeo's dagger.] This is thy sheath [stabs herself]; there rest, and let me die. (Shakespeare 5.3.161-170)          

Sweet Julie child, it is too late… to tell you it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Suicide is never the solution, would Romeo wish for you to die, no. You never think of the ones you leave behind. You were the rose that has loss its bloom that will never see to think you could all you have done. That now will never be, you will never hear the giggles of babies, or another sunset or sunrise, no light shall shine in your eyes every again. This was not the way to ask for peace that now your family now has done. You left this world for the next; you have not seen the pain you have caused your mothers' tears have not stopped, they are red and swollen as are your nurses. A mother should never entomb their children. Why sweet Julie did you do this? For a boy who killed himself too! For peace between your families! Because your parents said no to you! Why? Is all one can ask…Why?  

When Life gives you Paint Bombs… Not Lemons.

When Life gives you Paint Bombs… Not Lemons

By: Mary E. Petrie

When life gives you lemons; you make lemonade. Or that’s what “They” say, but me being the person I am; I say, who is “They”. Well “They” is the wise men and women, who came before us; but “They” is also the world and we are not of the world. So when life gives you lemons, what should I do; is give it to God. I don’t always do this and that is when the lemons, become paint bombs and start staining up my life, and things get messy. I know most people want a neat, clean little lives with white picketed fence, with two and a half kids, big dog and you should have  all of this and by the time you are thirty years old. And for the longest time, so did I, but then God told me in a not so gentle way, that was not going to be my life. I was to at age sixteen when most girls are at high school dances, I was taking care of my bedridden late grandmother while she lived with us this ended up being until her death when I was twenty. At age Twenty- two when most “good” Christian girls are meeting the “One”  and getting married. I was studying the word, at a small bible school, and spent the whole of ‘07’ studying the bible and serving the Lord up in the far away land of Michigan. I thought the Lord was calling me to go into foreign missions, but as usual when I try to control my life. I got a two by four upside my head, and paint bombs thrown at me from all sides. So covered in paint I came home over Christmas break— kicked out of the school I loved so much with my heart broken and scared, not sure where my life was headed. I got two jobs and found a new church where I could grow, with hopes of going back in a year, well a year comes and goes, I feel out that application and call them up and get told that they don’t think I’m ready. I got the Lords message that time, I was not to be a missionary. On the same night, I go back to my Junior college and try my hand at animation that lasted a whole year till, one late night, while looking for cheap Christian colleges with English Majors and Biblical Studies minors— I found Blue Mountain College the only school to show up in my search. What I did not know, was my life was going to change forever that night, because  had found my Alma Mater, what would become my second home, my second family and a start of new chapter in my life. 

I went there in the fall of ‘10’ when most “good” Christian girls were starting to have babies at the age of twenty six, I was starting literary analysis papers and honing my skills as a writer.  I hoped that this would be the time when I would meet the love of my life, but all found was a few Peter Pan's want a be, a man who did not know what he wanted and not willing to take a leap of faith, and one “oh my zing ah ha moments” with a real man, whom I have yet to meet again, but more because I was too scared to say “hi my names is…” because he was the single chapel speaker with the warm eyes. And right in the middle the Lord gave me another two by four upside the head, he took my Mamma home to be with him, breaking my heart again; making piggy back ride him, like I need to be all the time. I lived through that New year and the next, finishing school, with plans to go Dallas Theological Seminary.

 My family had moved on and was getting bigger, but not the way I had thought it would when I was sixteen, I gain a step mom, two step sisters and one nutty chiweenie, who likes to wake me up in the morning. Life was going good and then I got a small letter in the mail from DST, the Lord had shut that door again, I was not going to be trained in formal ministry. I was going home, back to my old room, back to live at home with a stranger, who was now part of my family and told to shine, with another two by fours back upside my head again and paint starting to fly, I ask what now.

I ask that for a whole summer, “what do you do with a B.A. in English?” you work in a coffee shop in a grocery store, with a whole group of introverts, who are just like you. You start teaching junior church and start the Golden Duck Tournament for the third through fifth graders, you take up your first commission paintings and apply to the secular Eastern New Mexico University in Portales, New Mexico. That you had been looking at as your plain B, so you can maybe go back to the state you once called home, knowing you can get in and praying God will take care of the rest; and maybe you might teach young minds about Shakespeare and MLA.

I know that God will give us the desires of our hearts, I want a husband, a man who serves the Lord with every fiber of his being, who puts his faith at the center of his life and not just as a foot note in it and my dream is still to have that family, but now it’s with ten kids, five of my own and five adopted, so I can sing the song  Jesus Loves the Little Children and when the chorus comes I can point at my kids as all the colors of the rainbow, and I dream of writing and being on the New York Best Sellers list with one of my many ideas for some unwritten novels that are just wiggling around in my head. I know that God does give us the desires of our hearts, but what we don’t always know is we don’t always know our hearts. I did not know my at sixteen-- when I thought I would be married by the time I was twenty and had two to three kids by time I was twenty five, and may not know it now. What I do know is that God knows my heart's true desires, and that amazing God fearing husband and those amazing kids, who I ready love even knowing I will have one will be just like me and God bless me like my sister, but I still long for anyway, will come into this world someday and may already be here. That book will be written, someday, and more so will be published. I know, God knows. What in my life will come and what road He will take me and that is what I will put my faith in that. Not, plans of man, which would have said to make lemonade out of paint bombs, and at twenty nine, single never dated anyone. But a person, who has known heart break more than most at my age, I do know if I don’t give it to Him; my life will be meaningless. That at the end of this road, when all the paint bombs have past,my life will be a masterpiece shining for His glory.  

What is Modesty?

What is modesty, is it cultural, is it God defined, or is it both? This is a question that every person has to define and what every culture must express. It is between an individual and God. Now that we have made it so simple we can drop it right; sorry no, because nothing in life is ever simple. The other option is to take a list of “Do’s” and “Do not’s” and follow it to the letter, but then that becomes legalism and that is also wrong. So we are back to the question of what is modesty.

Story time: It was my first year at my alma mater; it started out as any day in this small Christian college campus would. Until we went to the auditorium for chapel and we were told that we would be separated by gender for chapel. The girls were then read a letter that was written by the “respected” young men on our campus; by a young man, who had no idea what he was getting into and had not seen the letter before chapel. In this letter the girls on my campus were told that some of them dressed like whores and that certain styles of bags were immodest. This caused more strife on my campus than peace, and the “killing of the messengers,” the young man who read to the girls and the young woman who read the letter to the boys, these two innocent victims were then ostracized by much of the campus for about a week. This cause so much anger on my alma mater campus that it became a hindrance to the gospel.  

I am telling this story, to show how much this is a hot button issue this is and how it can become more of a sin issue than a respect issue.  We must all face God for our own sin, and we will not be judged by the sins of another, but in the very same breath Paul talk about not being a stumbling block to our brothers and sisters in Christ.    

“Romans 14: 10-13¹⁰ why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; ¹¹ for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess^[b] to God.”¹² So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. ¹³ Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” (ESV)

I find that when comes to the topic of modesty it is only the latter that is talked about, and not the idea that we each as an individual are responsible for our own sin. I have grown up in the evangelical western church my whole life and have been told that must protect my brothers, because they cannot control themselves that the sight of “skin” will bring about thoughts of sex. Now I know that it is true for men and how they are wired, but have you ever thought that this takes all the blame off them and encourages them to be “mice” and not the covenant heads and warrior poets that God has called them to be. As men are wired to think of sex at the sight of “skin”, they are also wired to be the protectors of women and those who are weaker than them.

Story Time Again: I was at school at a small bible school up in Jackson Michigan about eight years ago give or take and it was a break between classes and I was walking down the hall in a tee shirt and jeans. I was then approached by another female student, who asked me if I could walk differently, because my bosom bounced when I walked and was causing my brothers to stumble. Now ladies I am a part of the BBC (Big Bosom Club) and have been a proud card carrying member since the ripe old age of eleven. I was shocked at what the girl said and very upset, but politely told her no. I found out later that I was not the only girl, which had been approached on this issue at this school.

Ladies a woman can be covered from head to toe and a man can still lust after you. I feel that a woman’s body has become by some groups, to be viewed as a manifestation of sin, which is an old idea. We all born with sin, not just women, but all humankind, we are not worthy to be in the sight of God, because of it. I have seen this shown in a girl wearing three swim suits at the same time, girls having anxiety issues and bring about lack self-respect for themselves and therefore a lack of respect for God. The idea that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God, is forgotten and the image of man is all that is seen. The other thing that happens is anger and rebellion then girls go off and just start ignoring the whole idea of modesty altogether.

These are some of the negative side of modesty and what I have seen in my life. How modesty can be dealt with in an ungodly fashion. When a woman chooses to dress in a modest fashion it should be for the glory of God and only His glory. The benefits of modesty it allows for you to show your true inner beauty that God gave you. It allows you to show the most amazing parts of you and a freedom to be yourself.

Now dressing modestly does not mean you need to dress like a nun or frumpy or even out of fashion. Elizabeth Eliot has been quoted to say, “Do you seek to be simple, humble, gentle and quiet in spirit and not wearing the very latest fashions nor looking frumpy by wearing something that’s way out of date. We do have to conform to a certain degree, but there’re always classic clothes.” (Eliot) I respect Eliot very much and her Christian opinion, but I also know that as someone who has worked in the retail end of fashion that I could not ignore the latest fashions. I don’t think a woman has to ignore the latest fashion, but like everything else must look at with prayerful consideration and ask will this bring glory to God or to me. The idea that a teenage girl has to dress like her grandmother is a turn off for younger girls, I know for me it was.

Story Time one more time: I was about thirteen when one Sunday afternoon after church my father told me and my older sister that we were only to wear dresses to church, and dress that goes below the knee preferably to the ankle. So this meant a trip to the mall where one of many battles for fashion happen with my family came to be. I did not want to dress like my grandmother in dress suits or my mother in denim jumpers. I wanted to be in style, my mother said that if it was on the rack it was in fashion, which being a Fashionista I knew this was not true. We finally chose some dress that worked for both of us, but it was a battle.

I now see where this might have pushed me into the Gothic world of fashion and I found amazing group of people who looked at the world in a different light, but that is a story for a different blog. I see that my parents were wanting to protect me, but idea of modesty was not my choice and so I went on to fight it for many years. It was not until that I made the decision to glorify God in every action in my life did I choose to dress in a modest attire, but even now some people would say the some of my clothing is not modest, but it is between me and God, just I as said men are responsible for their own sin so am I and so are you my fellow sisters. When comes down to it modesty is an issue that every woman must face for themselves and turn to God, because some things in modesty are cultural. If you were to take a trip to the Far East you find that only prostitutes show any cleavage, but it’s okay for you to have a shorter hemline then here in the west. We are back to the question what is modesty, something between you and God and meant to bring Him Glory and that is different in every culture.

Links:

What Does Modesty Mean? by Elisabeth Elliot
Comic by Luke Martin

Now this are not christian women but they have some very good thoughts of modesty.

So it has been a year? Is this a good or bad thing.

      In this year I have finished college, moved back home, started on a new road. I have began to asks questions of myself, since now I am no longer considered a child, even if I am far from the age of one, but since I was still in school people tended to put me in that category of eighteen to twenty-one; even if I left that age a long ago, more than I would like to admit. The questions I have been asking are these, what am I going to do with my life, what is God purpose for my life, what is modesty: is it cultural or God define? What does the modern Proverbs 31 woman look like and can I be her? Are men now more mice than warrior poets: and did we make them that way? How do  I find a God fearing man in a world full of cowering men? How do I live a faithful life as a single woman, am I waiting on the Lord or have I just given up hope that Mr. Right is ever going to come around? Is having the princess attitude really the greatest to have? Yes, I am a child of God and therefore the an adopted child of a the King, but does that also bring forth an attitude of pride and not humility.

      I know that these are hard question and that I am not the only one asking them and that some my consider them superficial. These are the facts that women out number men in the church," Guys are few in the pews" the numbers don't lie, but my standers are high and most men I know are married, too young or have a severe cases of Peter Pan syndrome, and I don't think are worth my time. I am I a snob or a Godly women, who knows whats the Lords wants for me. There are books upon books that talk about this topic, but there are also books about christian dating and waiting, but most I find focus on high school students or college age students,I am not saying that they don't need encouragement and guidance here, as a youth leader I know that, but as a late twenty something, who has never really dated I find, that I feel more like a freak than a normal women and I am not alone.

     I don't know if I will ever find the answers to them or if anyone will until the day we all get to heaven. What I do know is if I am struggling with this than other women of God are to. I hope to write on these topics and if the Lord will hopefully give some clarity. 

What are my Goals with this Blog

My Goals are simple, to share the Gospel to all. Also to encourage Christian teenage girls who fall into the misfits category in the traditional Christian world, such as the Goth, Emo, Theater person, the Artist and Dancers. If you feel like you fall into category of one these or others that I have not thought of, then this where you belong. 
Let me give you a little bit of my testimony, I grew up in christian home and was saved when I was only four, I was called to work with youth when I was not even a part of the youth group. When I was fifteen I rededicating my Life to Christ and soon after being a Goth myself seeing the need to encourage girls who were going through the same problems as me. If you were to see me today would think that I am more of a hippy but that came because of being in ministry and needing to gain the trust of parents of the children that I worked with, but there was a time that I wore mostly black with more eyeliner than my mother would let me walk out with. I still wear mostly black nail polish and quite a bit of black, but my full blown dressing like a Goth are over, but the humor is still there.
I have heard stories of goth girls and every type of misfits out there who walk into many traditional churches and are turned away or ignored simply because of the way they dressed and we all know that is not a Christ like attitude we should have as believers. As the misfits we are not afraid of the darker corners of world ware are fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are afraid to go. Please girls do not be down hearten because people look at you differently I know some would question your salvation, even some of your own family and even church family, but God looks at the heart and not outward clothing or eyeliner.

Freak—Geek— Creep

Freak—Geek— Creep

The worlds see me as one them

But I am not

Freak—Geek—Creep

They, your "Own"

See me as threat

Some who is beyond saving?

Because I do not dress in Abercrombie

They are afraid of a little eye liner 

Freak—Geek—Creep

You know the truth

I am your Own

I am your child

I am like the people you came for

I am a Freak,

I am a Geek,

I am a Creep,

It was not pretty people you only came for

You came for all

So why can they not see me the way you do

As child of God, who should be loved?

Because I do not fear the darker places of the world and still see the light

Freak— Geek— Creep

You Love me at all times and that is all that maters

And You look at the heart not the eye liner