So I am introducing this new series with a mini Mock Gothic story, which is parody of my undergrad, because once you go "Mo" (Modenian) you can't go back!
Stepford house
I am a freshman, at The Mountain. I am also a third generation, a legacy of Stepford House. The Mountain is a small Christian college in the middle of no where, with fountain for every house, on its campas. This college was founded on education for women, and as been an all girls school up until five years ago and the houses are like sororities on other campus, without all of the bad reputations that come with them. I knew from all the wonderful stories from my Mom and Grams, Stepford house was the one for me, in my Grams time they were a bunch of hippie Christians eating only veggies and loving people as they were, and in my Moms time they where a bunch of nerds and artists, who embraced originality, Stepford house has always been the smallest house on campus numbering in only the thirties in any given year. I knew that is where I wanted to be as anime and horror fan-girl I wanted to be, but what I found was not, what I expected.
It was the first day of rush week, living in the freshman dorm, and I was awoken by pots and pans banging at the butt crack of dawn, by the Nome House, who had taken up the hippie/ hipster place on campus leaving daisy on every door and pulling anyone, who wanted to go on a sunrise hike and devotion time. I did not want anything to do with them, since they kind of scared me. The next group, that came up was the Carmelo House, who the athletics girls and some party girls, though were a little scatter brained handed out chocolate covered espresso beans and magnolia blossoms they seemed nice girls, they took a lot of the girls down with them. I could only see a few more freshmen standing out side their doors It was after all the hub-bu I saw my first Step- Girl, she look perfect at five-thirty in the morning, when the rest of us were still in boxers and tee shirts, she was already dressed in a skirt, which hit the ankle and modest top that showed no cleavage and was just loses enough, hair perfectly curled down to her butt, but that is not what struck me as as odd, but her completely fake happy and blank eyes. Also their were thirty girls behind her, who looked just like her, skirts, shirts, hair and fake happy. They stopped and started to sing, in perfect harmony Amazing grace. It was not the song, or how it was sung it was the fact that there was not passion behind it, no hope and understanding, what it was about. They handed out cinnamon rolls and roses. Then took the rest of us back to the house, after they pulled my stuffed dragon and threw it down like Satan himself, had made it.
In the house it was nothing like the picture from my mom time or even my Grams time, which looked like college girls lived their. I thought it was because of rush week, but I thought wrong. I have always seen girls like this, at church or a camp growing up, but never in droves like this. They had only one emotion, happy. Their only goal was to get married to a pastor/missionary, homeschool their ten kids, which I had no problem with, God has called us all to different missions, but that was not mine. Stepford House, now looks like pin on pintrist had vomited through out the whole place. I saw about seven more girls, having coffee and devotions, which in and of it self was not bad, it was the selfies and instagram photo fakeness about the whole thing that gave me a whole creep factor. The lead girl, who also happens to be the president took us down to the basement, and offered us the punch. I watched as the other freshmen girls drink the punch, and their normal level of excitement, come over their face to the fake happy and the life drain from their eyes. I did not know what was in the punch, but I wanted to run. I tried to leave quickly out the back, but as I left the line the other member grabbed me and pulled me in. I tried to scream, but they had grabbed my nose and poured the punch down my throat and forced me to drink, what the FUCK!
Oh my what have I been saying Stepford is perfect, we all love Jesus and sing in perfect harmony. We are all virgins and engaged to feature pastor and missionaries. We are all so happy for Jesus, and don’t curse or drink and we only use the King James Bible, because its the one Jesus used. We have been trained to be perfect wives, by making everything organic and being porn stars in the bedroom, when its time of course silly. Oh my goody graces I AM SO HAPPY!
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